Brace Your Palms Against My Throat (and please don't let go)
by SketchySage
Summary: "Excuse me?" "If you want to beat up someone so badly over a petty thing like that, you just had to ask. There's no one around now, and no one's going to look for you here of all places. So go ahead, let loose." Multiple Annie pairings. Mainly Reiner/Annie and Annie/Mikasa. (Non/con sex in 1st chapter. Strong language. Do not read if easily triggered.) High School AU.


**❀ Part I ❀**

Dear Journal,

Ma gave me you for my birthday. You were all sparkly and pink and covered in glitter then. Now you're somewhat faded and patches of glitter are missing. Like a puzzle missing its pieces.

I tore out a few of your pages when I first got you. Used them to make 'Kick me' signs and paste them on my brothers backside when he was asleep.

Mom says I act like a boy. A brute of a boy when I'm only a little girl. I'm not little. She's just too tall for her own good.

She says I'm sassy. I just tell the truth where truth is due. When adults do it they're fine but apparently I'm too young to just tell everything like it is without getting slapped. Or curse. Sadly I do it anyway.

My name is Ann Leonhardt. Well, Annie. But everyone calls me Ann. Ma said that since I never talk to her or do shit other than laze around that I don't have any friends.

She wants me to put all of my feelings and secrets in you. It's funny, because I was only six when she gave me you. But it's been years.

My counselor said this is the time where I 'go through changes' and have hormonal imbalances and random mood swings and shit.

She's the reason I'm writing in you now actually. At first I just forgot you were there. Heck, I'm surprising myself by writing in you and referring to you as a 'you' like you're a person.

Genes really are inherited, because I'm pretty sure my father was a fucked up guy who talked to himself. Apple doesn't fall from the tree as they say.

Guess that's why I keep getting into fights.

A week ago I got into a fight with this girl named Historia. She's supposed to be pretty, but I see nothing special about her. What's so hot about dingy long hair and boring doe eyes anyway? Even my brother seems obsessed with her.

Like yesterday, I found porn under my brothers bed. Most of the models were twigs with big sacks for chests, and a lot of them were tanned with thick blond hair- most of who could pass for an older version of Historia.

I mean, I'm not one of those 'All blonds are annoying bitches' or whatever. I have nothing against them, because I'm blonde too. But what I don't get is why people seem to have some sort of fetish for-

Damn. Why am I getting so worked up. Who cares what my brothers into, it doesn't even fucking matter.

Ugh.

Anyway. Historia. I ran into her in the hallway at school, while I was on my way to my stupid fink for a teachers class. She screamed at me when I tripped over her and scuffed her new shoes. I called her a whiny bitch. She threatened to sue me (Did I mention she's a rich bitch too?), and then when I didn't react to the threat; she slapped me.

I'd say all hell broke loose but quite honestly that would imply more than one person got hurt. Let's just say that Historia isn't so pretty with a black eye and a swollen lip.

But anyway, I got called to the principles office. Mom was there. She yelled at me a bit. I didn't give a shit, and then I got suspended.

It wasn't the first time I got into a fight with a girl. Generally I stuck to fighting boys because they ticked me off faster. But Historia was asking for it so I gave it to her.

Anyway, mom agreed to get me a councilor. My brother got a kick out of it. Literally. He thought it was funny so I knocked some of his teeth out.

Didn't really help my situation, considering I was in hot water and all.

But anyway, that same week, before I found Bertolt's porn mind you, I went to my first meeting with a councilor.

She was short, looked younger than ma. Pretty in a stern sort of way, with tan skin and glasses. I didn't like her right off the bat.

She introduced herself as Mrs. Hange Zoe. Asked me a few questions like my name, how old I was, etc. I hated that, because she already knew most of the answers to them.

Eventually she asked how it was at home, and eventually found out my dad left us. She asked me how I felt about that and I simply said I didn't care.

I wouldn't have answered at all, but silence wasn't really an option.

She kept on like that and eventually a very small summary of my life was laid out before her, considering she kept writing in her little notepad like I was a bug she was inspecting.

"Do you have any friends?" She had asked at one point, her golden brown eyes narrowed in concentration as she studied me beyond her glasses.

I gave her my most droll look. "No."

Her reply was instant. "Why not?"

She actually sounded curious, which made me roll my eyes, something she didn't miss.

"Because I don't want any."

"And why is that?" She went on persistently, pencil twirling around her fingers. I noticed she wore a ring.

"Because I just don't."

"Have you ever considered making a friend?"

"No."

"Never? You've never formed a bond with anyone- never wanted to have a conversation with anyone?"

Briefly I remembered my first day in kindergarten. A boy with pretty green eyes and a solemn stare had been the first person I'd ever looked at longer than a few seconds.

Ma said I was a quiet pipsqueak who couldn't hold someone's gaze, but there had been something about him. I approached him during art time and we drew random stuff together.

We never became friends per see. We probably could have. He was funny and friendly and had a cute smile. But it was only days later when some girls fed the class hamster some stuff they found on the ground at recess.

Somehow, they thought it would be funny to tell the teacher I did it. Needless to say, I was punished and most kids laughed at my expense.

And the boy with the pretty eyes never looked at me again. After that I just never had an interest in anyone else. I disliked Ma, hated my brother Bertolt, and didn't know my father. There wasn't anyone who I cared about except myself, and even that was a stretch because sometimes I hate myself.

There, I said it. I hate myself.

When you see this , and yes I think its bullshit that you say you don't read this, I hope you'll be happy. You got something more than a one sentence reply out of me for once.

.❀.

Hello again. Seems I'll be headed back to school in 2 more days, I was only suspended for a week after all.

Ma has been out again. Like she always is. Probably drinking booze. Bertolt is probably fapping somewhere. It's inevitable since he can't get any.

He's ugly as fuck and I'm not ashamed to say it since he's my brother.

I still don't regret hitting Historia. She's a bitch and her little boyfriend Reiner and his cronies apparently have it in for me.

I saw them at the park a few days ago and needless to say, they weren't happy to see me. Called me a few names and probably would have cornered me if I didn't run.

Even I couldn't take on that many boys, especially since they're bigger than I am.

I noticed Reiner seems to be giving me odd looks lately. I'm not scared of anyone, but there's something odd about him. Like Historia, most people think he's 'cute' because his hair is like gold that falls down his shoulders and he has sleepy gold eyes that seem to stare through everyone.

But he just looks like a normal, boring guy to me. The fact that he plays soccer doesn't change that. He's boring, freaky, and if I'm correct; a little off.

Then again some of his brain screws must be loose. Who loses their virginity at 13? That's just freaky. And disgusting.

I can't really say much though, I have Bertolt for a brother after all. Not so surprising. Doesn't explain why the guy's looking at me though.

Well... I did beat up his girlfriend.

God, why am I even writing this down...Ma's right, I have no friends so I have to resort to this.

.❀.

Ma came home earlier. She was drunk. I'm in my bed now with a flashlight, because I don't want her seeing my light on and coming in here.

She punched Bertolt today.

She says she doesn't care about our father. That she's glad he left. But then why does she get drunk and mutter his name subconsciously. Why does she snap at us whenever we mention him or even look at his picture for too long.

I hate Bertolt. I really do. But he's my brother right? I shouldn't like that he got hit by Ma. He's older than me, but smaller and somewhat weaker. I can take Ma's hits, and I did today. My back has a bruise on it now so I have to write while lying on my stomach.

I don't know why. I never cry. Never. Not when Ma hits me or when I'm pummeled by another kid at school. But for some reason after Ma left the room after the beating and left Bertolt writhing on the floor, I cried then.

I hate Bertolt. So why am I crying for him? Is it because he knew how it was like before Dad left? Is it because I somehow feel this is worse for him than for me?

I don't know. But I hate this feeling. And the only way it seems to briefly go away is if I write in you.

Gah, goodnight. Stupid waste of paper.

.❀.

One more day till Monday. Today was uneventful. Ma is sober again. Was real quiet this morning. Bertolt was too, his expression never changing from his default nervous frown. Pretty much ignored me as he got up after eating breakfast. Didn't come near me, didn't look at me either.

Ungrateful fuck. I swear I hate him.

.❀.

Funny that I didn't bring you to school today. Might have helped me to vent in you while I hid in the bathroom.

I'm home now. Ma's cooking. Bertolt avoided me like the plague. We don't go to the same school so him avoiding me when we see each other meant I basically didn't get a glimpse of him today.

Did I mention I hate him?

But what's weirder than Bertolt avoiding me is Historia. She actually came up to me today. Her black eye faded on both sides, blond hair pulled back. Her lips are still swollen surprisingly since it's been a fucking week, and she almost looks like her normal bitchy self.

What surprised me was her actually saying sorry to me. She came to ME and apologized.

I swear the world's ending or something because that girl has an ego the size of our state. She looked somewhat fidgety while she was doing it, but I don't know why she even bothered. Of course, it never even crossed my mind that Reiner would have told her. Why would it? Her boyfriend had no reason to make her do something like that.

Oh well. On another note, the rest of the day was way odd. Other kids kept eyeing me like I was an anomaly. Totally uncalled for really. I beat up people before. Historia may have been more popular than most, and her boyfriend rarely let people touch people in their circle- but I wasn't most people.

Nothing new.

But I feel like something's off.

Oh well.

.❀.

It's been over a month since I wrote in you. Bizarre. A lot has happened.

First things first, Ma is batshit crazy. I never mention she hits us much, me and Bertolt, because it happens so infrequently that I usually never think about it too much until it happens.

But she actually broke my fucking leg weeks ago. School has just started and I'm already going through hell.

Anyway, it happened when she was drunk. Surprise, surprise. She had been roasting me for not cleaning my room, which I never did, and said I was a slob like my father. I had only meant to mutter to myself when I said 'Then why did you marry the bastard'.

She shoved me away then. I think she meant to push me into a wall. But I missed and landed down the stairs. The pain was a bitch. I laughed like a maniac then with my leg twisted in an odd angle. And the way Ma's eyes widened like they were going to bug out of her head made me laugh harder.

I don't know why. But I laugh when I'm angry. Must be why boys love calling me a crazy bitch when I maul them with a smile on my face.

I'm slowly starting to accept that I am the child of crazies and am therefor a crazy myself.

But anyway, I got a cast. Ma made an excuse to the doctor about me running through the hall when the floor was wet from mopping. Spewed all this shit about me being clumsy and falling down the stairs.

I didn't say otherwise, but the weird smile on my face made the doctor look at me twice with a concerned look on his face.

Mrs. Zoe, apparently she's married, must of had a field day when she saw me with my cast.

"What happened to you?" She asked the second I hopped over to my assigned chair in her office.

To my surprise she actually looked worried. Like extremely worried. But I went with my mothers story and said I slipped down the stairs. I don't need child services fucking up shit when I'm surviving well enough. When I turn 18, which is a long way away, I'll leave this town and never look back.

"Why would you be running?" She repeated.

I say repeated because I had been too lost in my thoughts to hear her the first time. So when I snapped my head up and raised my eyebrows, Hange rose hers as well.

"I wanted to go to the park." I had shrugged nonchalantly, the lies coming easy. "I can't walk there so I had to take the bus. Would have missed it."

"Ah..." Was the only thing the dark haired woman had offered in reply, the concern not leaving her eyes nor did her hand move to write any notes.

I don't know why that bothered me.

"So, before you...slipped, how were you faring at home? Do you still hate your brother?" She finally asked after a long moment of silence.

Ah, I forgot to say. I'd told Zoe pretty much the basic gist of my ire for anything and anyone living, breathing, or otherwise.

"I'll never stop." I quipped cheerfully, watching as Zoe rose her thin eyebrows and struggled not to smile. At some point we had formed this banter thing where she made me almost smile and I made her somewhat ashamed that she actually thought i was funny half of the time.

"It's such a shame. You did mention you never hated him when you were a kid. Why do you dislike him so much?" She asked.

Was it so hard to accept that he was just an annoying fuck? There were certain reasons why I was determined to hate him no matter the fact that he had made me cry for him when Ma hurt him.

But there were some things I wouldn't tell anyone, even Hange.

"He's a bastard." I summed up, leaning back into my chair and pushing pale locks out of my face.

"You throw around slurs quite often." Hange stated calmly, assessing me with those brown eyes that I had come to hate when they looked at me in that way. As if she knew me.

"Most people do so I do as well. Not like the worlds going to become a better place because I refrain from what others don't." I muttered loud enough for her to hear.

Hange simply looked at me for a long moment.

And then she cracked a smile.

"You're right.

And so the session went on. We had been meeting for months. And the reports Hange gave my mother and my principle must have somewhat surprised or neutered them, because they didn't bother me as much.

Everyday the conversations would vary. For example;

"Tell me about this Reiner fellow. You seem to hold some sort of ire for him."

"He's a dumb fuck."

"I understand he's dating the girl you attacked."

"And?"

"And," Hange raised a brow. "I think that he confuses you."

I couldn't help myself. I laughed.

"Really?" I challenged her, propping my chin in my hands as I sent her a charming smile. "Do tell."

Hange wasn't amused or deterred by my subtle mocking skills.

"You speak of him as if he intrigues you. The few times we've spoke of him, you constantly mention that he's weird or annoying. But from my understanding, you rarely interact beyond insults or fights."

That wasn't true. Reiner was too much of a coward to actually touch me. His cronies did that well enough, and he usually would just watch me with silent interest in the background.

I do admit that for some reason I show off a little when he's there. But I would never tell Hange that.

"Is this supposed to suggest I'm actually interested in the bastard? That's sad even for you Hange." I teased, rolling my eyes when she sighed and sat back in her chair.

"I see you have disdain for this subject. Let's move on to another matter, like your father."

And instantly the mood darkened. Needless to say, I was more comfortable than talking about Reiner than my dad. At least I could be bitchy and dismiss the fact that he actually catches my thoughts now and then.

But for some reason I can't hide my real feelings whenever it comes to my dad.

I'd rather not write down the rest of that conversation here. It floats in my mind around too much, and to be honest I don't want to constantly see its contents in you of all things.

As of the moment I'm trying not to curse because my legs bugging me. Bertolt is off reading comics, or maybe porn, somewhere.

And I'm writing in you. Why am I relying on you so much? You're an old mass of glitter and tree bark yet I'm actually writing in you like you're a person I talk to.

Hange would get a laugh out of that, wouldn't she. Old hag gets on my nerves.

But...I guess she's alright.

.❀.

It's been years.

Hange isn't my counselor anymore, but since she's made me progress so far and my grades have improved because of her, though my temper is still intact, mom insisted that she keep contact with me. Especially now that I'm no longer in middle school, and the new environment 'might make me have a relapse' according to her when she spoke to Hange on the phone.

If mom thinks growing older has caused my ability to eavesdrop to vanish, she's fucking stupid.

Now that I'm 18, I'm determined that I'll leave this place when I graduate. Bertolt is months older than I am, but I doubt that he'll leave at all.

Sucks for him, because when I run I'm not going to slow down to save him too.

Either way, I do admit it's less entertaining without Hange always nagging me these days. I run across her every now and then at my new job, now that I work at a Cafe in town. But things aren't the same.

She has kids, and a husband, so she doesn't call much these days. Still, I can admit that I'm fond of her now. She took me out on my birthday, showed me the ocean and introduced me to her new baby, a wrinkly pink mess who giggled when she saw me and drooled on my hand. I think I love Hange more than my own mother, but I'll never say it out loud to her.

Now that I'm in high school, things haven't changed all that much. Bertolt is taller than me now, but other than that his looks are still as horrible as ever. He has a lock on his door so Mom and I can't get in, and instead of catching him with porn like I used to, I see him hanging around the school and locking lips with girls or smoking joints with a bunch of sleazy guys. Some who look too old to even go to High School.

Most of them are the same type; several piercings, revealing clothes, low hanging pants and eyes that burn coals into you if you dare to look. The girls Bertolt hangs out with always scowl when I walk up and drag him off to make sure he doesn't skip class. But it's not like I care. They're sluts if you ask me, but Bertolt has his group and I have mine after all.

Even though I don't really have a group.

You know life sucks when your own ugly ass brother has more friends than you.

I ran across Reiner today, when I was carrying books to my new locker.

I didn't even recognize him at first, with how tall he was. He used to be rather thin, and prettier than Historia. Whatever he's been doing over the summers has completely gotten rid of the misconception that he looks like anything other than a full bred man.

An attractive one at that, much to my dismay.

So when he slammed his locker shut as I passed and turned to face me, the only thing that alerted me to who he was were his eyes. My mouth went dry when he stood a few inches from me, his eyes lowering until they made contact with mine.

Clear and gold.

"Leonhardt." Reiner said in greeting, my last name rolling off his tongue easily, tone bored as he nodded at me and then strolled off.

His shoulder brushed mine, hair glistening in the halls light, but I didn't open my mouth to return his greeting. I simply glanced over my shoulder in surprise, tongue dry, watching as he walked through the body of students and vanished.

I was stunned.

Since when the hell did he get so fucking cute?

And since when did I even care?

Jesus Christ.

.❀.

It seems the weirdest, though not exactly the most unpleasantest, things keep happening for me this year.

I met this girl at the library in school. Her names Mikasa, and she's what I consider truly pretty. Not that generic poor excuse for pretty that boys think Historia is.

But actually pretty, like those girls from the 60's or something. She's from Japan apparently, transferred here a few months ago.

At first I ignored her. I walked into the library every other day and the librarian there, a witty but funny old bitch named Carmen, would always treat me to a new novel she liked.

Usually the library was empty when I went there with the exception of a few older students who were studying or something.

A pale girl with raven hair was sitting by herself at a table in the back. What caught my attention first though was that she was sitting in my designated place.

Now I'm not a complete bitch. But I do have territory. Few go in the back, and even fewer go in my corner. So I wondered why Carmen hadn't told this girl that where she was sitting was practically reserved for me.

I didn't even bother greeting Carmen, who was typing away at the computer at her desk. I simply walked up to the dark haired girl and stood before her with my arms folded.

It didn't take long for her to look up.

For a moment I was stunned by her eyes. They were wide and practically an endless pool of black with blue flecks in them. My own eyes were blue and shined like cold flames when I was pissed off, but hers seemed almost inhumane. She looked like a ghost.

A very pretty ghost with very beautiful eyes.

My hands itched to find a pencil and sketch them.

"...Can I help you?" The girl finally asked after a beat of silence. The light in the room was partially obscured since the corner had so little room for it. Shadows seemed to wash over the girls pale skin and make her look all the more ghostly in my eyes.

And for some reason my earlier annoyance had seemed to drift off into meekness.

"Can I sit here?" I finally asked, my hand lifting involuntarily to land behind my neck in a sheepish gesture.

The girl blinked up at me for a moment before her lips curled into a smile.

"Sure," She said. "I'm Mikasa."

.❀.

I think I might actually enjoy Mikasa's company. Only other person who can remotely qualify for making me laugh in a conversation is Hange. And half of the time I'm laughing at her.

We talked at the library and found a common love of a book called Epic. It was about a community that had a caste system based on how successful they were in a virtual reality game. It was pretty awesome and though Carmen had suggested it to me, I was happy someone else actually liked and read it.

I think I may have found a new friend... as crazy as that sounds.

Worse yet, I think Carmen was behind this. In fact, from what Mikasa told me, Carmen suggested that Mikasa sit here since it was a 'lucky spot'.

Stupid bitch...I might buy her a burger or something as a thank you. She better not try something like that again though.

"It's weird that I've never seen you around before." I tell her as we chew on the taffy she brought with her to the library.

Mikasa had a sweet tooth bigger than the state of Texas, and I found out very quickly that she carried a stash with her everywhere. I briefly wondered how she stayed so thin.

"Yes you have." She replies, tone amused as she tosses a piece of candy in the air and catches it before notices. "You just never paid attention. I transferred here five months ago. We share every class."

To say I was surprised was a fucking understatement.

"No way." I said.

"Yes way." She laughed softly, leaning down to read the next chapter of her book.

"What are you, invisible?" I asked incredulously, lifting my hand to brush my hair out of my eyes. "This is totally weird. I would have never missed a face like yours even if you were as quiet as a mouse."

I didn't realize the implication of what I said until Mikasa slowly raised her eyes to me, a sparkle of amusement shining in them.

"Are you trying to say you think I'm pretty?" She teased, hand on her chin as she watched me turn from confused to embarrassed. Red filled my cheeks, and I turned away when she began to laugh. She softened her tone when Carmen looked over however, and cleared her throat.

"So what if I think that." I muttered softly to myself, noticing that I hadn't cursed even once in Mikasa's presence in the few encounters we've had.

For some reason I could tell she wouldn't like it, or at least her fragile beauty and sweet manner made me think so. The restraint wasn't as intense as I thought it would be, though we had only met yesterday.

It seemed to flow out of me; there was no need to put up a tough front for her, my typical desire to be tough as nails was not there like it was for other people. And now she knew I thought she was pretty. And for some reason that made me feel like the mouse now. Small and embarrassed...I didn't like the feeling, but it didn't annoy me enough to make me angry.

Mikasa had been smiling at me the entire time I mulled to myself, which unnerved me, and it didn't take me long to notice she was watching. When I turned to her, her smile widened.

I pushed away the urge to draw the image on the back of a library book and simply scowled.

"What?" I asked, eyebrows cocked in warning.

Mikasa only shook her head.

"You're something else is all. If you think I'm pretty, just say so. You're not so bad yourself after all."

All this she said with a straight face.

Either she was an incredible liar or delusional.

Me? Pretty?

No. My mother made sure I knew I was an ugly shit every time she saw me. I was small even for a girl. My arms were too muscular for a girl. My blonde hair too limp. My clothes too raggedy. I had scars and marks on my back more cluttered than any Renaissance painter, and my eyes weren't unearthly pools of color like Mikasas or even Historia's.

Pretty? More like deformed.

Mikasa must have seen the disbelief on my face, because her smile dimmed- replaced with a look that reminded me of Hange"s 'concerned' face.

"Don't tell me you actually think..." She began, her eyebrows furrowed. But when she saw the look on my face, she stopped.

"Let's just finish reading." I said with a sigh.

To my surprise, she listened without a fuss.

.❀.

It figured that my day couldn't be all good. I had been looking for Bertolt and eventually had to walk into the darkness of the alley just outside of school. My skin began to crawl when I noticed the group hanging around there. A freckled girl I had never seen before with a leather jacket, unkempt black hair and cat like eyes glanced over at me, pupils flickering as I slowly walked into their turf.

"What's the deal?" She asked as I came closer, her darkly painted lips curling in amusement as she took in my appearance.

Like I gave a fuck what she thought.

"Where's Bertolt?" I demanded, my voice slightly hoarse as I hefted my bag higher onto my shoulder. Quite a few of the people in the alley had turned to look at me, and not one of them looked like my brother.

"Oh, you mean Johnny boy?" The girl asked, her mouth curving into a wane smile as she gave me another look. Only then did I notice the cigarette in her hand as she twirled it between her fingers, golden brown eyes studying me.

I frowned. Johnny boy?

"You don't look like him." She said after another moment of just staring.

"I don't fucking care if we do or do not look alike- where is he?" I snapped, raising my voice in annoyance at the fact she was stalling.

"I'm right here." A deep voice cut in, causing both the girl and I to turn in its direction.

Bertolt lifted himself off of the ground, where he had previously been silently watching me beside a group of other misfits. His black hair trailed down the base of his neck, tan skin glistening and black eyes blank as he approached me. I took in his appearance, realizing right off the bat that the clothes he wore definitely didn't come from mothers paycheck.

I stared at him incredulously.

"You shouldn't be coming back here." Bertolt murmured, lifting his hand to scratch at the stubble growing on his chin. As he spoke, it became clear that most of the activity in the alley had quieted in favor of watching us.

I didn't like it.

"I could say the same about you. We're in co-ed territory now Bertl, you cant hide your little entourage from me so easily. It's my job to make sure you're in fucking school and not in some..." I trailed off, gesturing around him to make him clear on what I meant.

Bertolt glared at me, his black eyes filled with fire. And surprisingly, the look he gave me caused me to falter.

"Ann, get the fuck out of here. You may be my sister, but you're not my fucking caregiver. If you want to be a good little saint now that you're about to abandon us, go right ahead." He said, the disgust in his face unmistakable as he turned his back to me and brushed past the skull girl, who had been watching us in interest the entire time.

My voice caught in my throat as I watched him, surprise and confusion swirling in my chest at his words.

'Now that you're about to abandon us..."

Him.

And mom.

He knew I was leaving the first chance I got. And he hated me for it. As if he had the right to judge me for wanting to leave this place. The only way he'd know is if he had read...

Oh fucking hell.

Almost instantly a wave of anger filled my chest. I clenched my fists.

"Fine!" I screamed at his back, holding back the wet burn forming at the edge of my eyes as he walked away. "Rot here for all I fucking care, fucking fine with me!"

And then I was gone, the sound of my voice echoing in the alley.

I headed back into the building knowing that he hadn't looked back.

So neither did I.

.❀.

Living in the same town for your entire life means you're going to run into the same people very often.

Bertolt and I don't have the same classes together, other than homeroom and free period- so I rarely see him unless he's outside the school sucking face or smoking drugs. One of these days he's going to get caught, but I've stopped caring a long time ago. I rarely even cross paths with him anymore after our little falling out.

Historia on the other hand is a constant occurrence. She, just like in middle school, stands at the top of the social pyramid here. Which means I couldn't avoid her even if I tried.

Unlike middle school however, she doesn't bother me as much. When I say 'Not much' don't mistake it for 'Not ever'. Because despite her quieter nature, her bitchiness isn't gone in the least.

Like today, when we were in Homeroom I had been sitting near the back. Historia sat diagonal from me, looking into a mirror as one of her faceless friends chattered off to her about who knows what.

Anyway since my mom drinks so often and comes home late, I always need to stay up until she's home to make sure she doesn't crash into the side of the house and kill herself. Bertolt comes home even later than both Mom and I, so it's not like he can do it. Because of that and also due to my job at the Cafe with annoying as fuck patrons who yell when I don't put the right amount of sugar in their mug, I rarely get enough sleep.

Mrs. Petra Ral, my homeroom teacher, has had to warn me more than enough times because of this.

After all, sacrificing my sleep means I often doze off in the middle of class. I have the habit of keeping one eye lazily open though, so when I wrapped my arms around my head one day and pretended to look through my notebook while I was just sleeping, I accidentally knocked my pencils and books onto the floor.

The sound didn't snap me awake like it usually does, but it was loud enough for everyone around me as well as my young homeroom teacher to hear.

The first thing I felt then was a sharp kick to my ankle, the pain shooting through me like a tidal wave. My eyes snapped open instantly, and anger shot through me as I prepared to pummel whoever had dared to touch me.

To say I was startled to see Historia gesturing sharply towards the front of the room was an understatement.

"Annie, is there something wrong?" Petra asked, her eyes narrowing slightly as she approached my desk. From where she was, she couldn't see the drool on my lips, so I quickly wiped it away and leaned down for my books.

Historia once again surprised me by answering in my place.

"I'm having trouble with Algebra." The blonde called, hand fanning her face as if she were sheepish. "I asked Annie for some notes to borrow and...well I'm quite clumsy. It's my fault. Sorry Annie."

Historia directed the last sentence at me, her glossy lips forming a pout that looked almost genuine.

I stared at her blankly, oblivious to the titters and whispers from the other students in the room.

I didn't even notice the raised eyebrows of Reiner, who sat a few seats behind me all the way in the back. His blonde hair hid his gaze from view, but his somewhat sleepy eyes were alert at the sound of Historias voice.

Petra seemed unsure how to react, since Historia and I were infamous for hating each other. The thought that I would possibly help her instead of sabotage her was no doubt too kind sounding for it to fit me.

"Ah...well Historia, be more careful okay? I'm sure you can wait until Algebra actually starts to borrow her... notes." Petra said slowly, her gaze uncertain as she headed back to her desk.

As the whispers died down and as I gathered my stuff off the floor, mentally telling myself to keep my stuff more secure the next time I decide to nap, Historia chose that moment to gaze condescendingly down at me.

"A thank you would suffice, you fucking reject." She hissed softly, tossing her hair behind her so it smacked my face as I leaned back up with my supplies in tow.

The second her hair touched me, all uncertainty flew out the window. I wasn't sure what she wanted, but there was no way she'd save me from a teacher just to be fucking nice.

This was Historia. She was always full of shit.

I sneered at her as she turned away from me to giggle with her entourage, and the pencil I held in my hands snapped into two.

It was a promise that if I didn't get her now- I'd get her later.

I fumed for the rest of the class.

.❀.

"You seem jittery today." Mikasa told me as we headed to class.

I simply shrugged.

"Come on, tell me. What's up with you? You usually talk my ear off." She teased, dark eyes glimmering mischievously as she nudged my shoulder while carrying her books.

"It's nothing...and anyway, you said you have to meet up with the principal in a few minutes. Shouldn't be worrying about me." I replied, my voice as light as I could handle. I didn't want Mikasa suspecting.

The girl shrugged, dropping the subject as she walked ahead of me, black hair swaying.

I thought of the pencil I had snapped in homeroom today, thinking of how fun it would be to snap Historias arm just as easily. I had said I would get her later, and I would. Mikasa didn't need to be involved, she'd just try to stop me.

Besides, it had been a while since I'd beaten the crap out of anyone. I missed old times- as disappointed as Hange would be to know that.

Later came in no time, much to my relief.

I didn't expect what it led to, however.

Historias back slammed against the closest locker, her blonde hair flailing around her face like a wave of silk. She winced at the pain, her blue eyes growing wide when she opened them at the sight of my muscular form.

One minute she had been walking with her boyfriend and Jean down the hall to Calculus, (Jean being one of the football players in Sina High who hung around Reiner constantly) and then the next minute she was being thrown like a sack of potatoes.

The shock in her eyes quickly died once she realized it was me, though the gasps and shouts of the students around us seemed to irritate her as she straightened to face me, the wince not quite gone from her face.

"You going to try and beat me up again Leonhardt?" She asked coolly, not a single hint of fear in her eyes as she approached me. "If you are then you better wait until after last period. I'm not in the mood for getting suspended."

She spoke as if she actually had a chance at beating me.

I'd wipe that notion from her head real quick.

Reiner stood at the side, his eyes watchful as I raised my fists and swung. I didn't pay any mind to him however, as Historia suddenly ducked- causing my blow to slam into the locker instead. The metal dented, blood emerging as the sting began to fade from my hand.

'She dodged me?" I thought, my eyebrows furrowing as I turned to see that Historia was now at her boyfriends side. Reiner stood quietly as Historia hovered beside him, her hands on her hips.

For the first time I spared Reiner a glance, realizing he was even taller than Jean- his hair longer than ever and his eyes somewhat cloudy as he stared at me. He didn't seem to be in any hurry to stop me from trying to beat up his girlfriend, much to my surprise.

Jean however was another story. The lanky jock was two heads taller than I, and the look of surprise on his face that I was attacking one of the most desired girls in school was quickly replaced by anger. He shoved me away from Historia when he saw me approach her again, brown hair falling into his eyes as his large hand gripped my arm.

"What the fuck do you think you're-" He began, his voice a deep baritone growl as he yanked me by my shoulder.

I didn't hesitate in the slightest.

Not waiting for him to finish, I lifted my free hand and sliced at his wrist so as to dig my nails into the softness there. I felt flesh and bone snap as I jerked away from him and freed myself from his grip.

The reaction was instant. Jean cursed, his face twisted in pain as he instantly pulled away from me, the skin I had stabbed with my nails going dark red.

I was prepared to knock him down if he came after me again, the irritation in my eyes causing them to blaze, but an arm that felt like iron slipped around my waist, stopping me.

I looked up, the smallest hint of surprise in my face. Reiner stared down at me, the warmth of his body pressed into my back.

"Be still." Reiner murmured, his voice soft and his grip firm even as I tried to pull away.

To my surprise, his hold on me didn't even budge. And when I lifted my heel to slam into his foot, he simply side stepped, his grip on me unrelenting and slowly becoming painful.

"Get off me!" I demanded, my teeth bared as I dug my nails hard into his arm. He didn't react, simply lifting his head to the crowd that had formed.

"Go on with your business." Reiner called, the authority and steel in his voice unmistakable. "I'll handle this. I've waited too long anyway. Make an excuse for me to our teacher." The last part was directed at Jean, who still was holding onto his wrist.

"Are you sure..." Jean began, but the look in Reiner's eyes stopped him.

The football player hesitated, realization dawning on his face, then nodded. He turned towards Historia, who stared at Reiner for what seemed like forever before Jean led her away.

I hadn't stopped struggling the entire time, my mind racing a mile a minute.

In middle school, Reiner had never tried to approach or fight me. His buddies had always done so- and I had always beaten them up in minutes. It had never crossed my mind that he could be stronger than I. And the fact that I couldn't get myself free from only one arm was unbelievable. To say I was pissed was an understatement.

Hange may have not been proud to know I was starting a fight after so long, but it wasn't like I was going to stand there and let Historia get away with slapping me with her hair. Petty it may have been, but she fucking deserved to have her face punched in!

I glared as I met the gazes that were sent back at me as the crowd dispersed. But my real ire truly went to the person behind me, who currently seemed content pinning me to his body. He had begun pulling me away by then, and already I was preparing every single way I would burn and cut him up later.

I wasn't sure where he was taking me, but when it became apparent that I wasn't going to stop clawing at him the entire time- Reiner did something unexpected.

He swept me off my feet.

Literally.

The heat that began to gather into my body alarmed me as Reiner suddenly forced me to turn around and face him, his eyes cold. I didn't even manage to open my mouth before he had lifted me up and hefted me over his shoulder.

His shoulders were large- muscular. They dug into my abdomen as I tried in vain to free myself. It was much harder to do anything but kick and punch as Reiner carried me off, so eventually I let out a growl of frustration and went limp. He was clearly a brick wall, hitting Reiner seemed to hurt me more than it did him.

"Well there's a good girl." Reiner called over his shoulder, tone mocking as he walked down the hall.

The taunt caused me to start fuming, my teeth bared as Reiner suddenly turned down the hall and pushed open a door. He tossed me to the floor, ignoring my yelp of pain as he shut the door behind him.

When I sprang to my feet, he had already locked us into the room.

This action confused me, but anger at the fact that I had just been manhandled by Reiner of all people erased my confusion just as quickly as it had come.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I snapped, my arm already raising to strike him.

I wasn't as surprised as I should have been when he grabbed my hand, halting it in place before it even reached his cheek. His other hand hooked around my arm, pulling me into him as he watched my face twist in disgust and anger.

Like before, his grip was iron. And like before, his expression didn't change.

"Bastard." I muttered, trying not to wince as Reiner's grip tightened further, if that was even possible.

"You haven't changed." Reiner stated, lips curving as he watched my expression darken, his grip on my arm suddenly loosening. "You do know that there are going to be reports to the principal now. You almost injured my girlfriend."

My eyebrows shot up at that, the anger in my chest boiling as I shoved Reiner in the chest. He didn't budge, which unnerved me, but instead of dwelling on it I simply clenched my fists and grunted, struggling to remove myself from his grip.

"Fuck your girlfriend!" I spat, whipping my hair out of my eyes and growling when Reiner's nails suddenly dug into my arm. "She's a disrespectful, annoying, spiteful bitch. I don't have to deal with her crap. If the school gets involved, then let them! I hate both of you!"

Reiner raised an eyebrow, the tiniest hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Don't tell me this is about what happened in homeroom." He asked, his lips curving upward slightly. I bristled at his reaction, the urge to slam him against the floor growing with each second.

"If you know, then you shouldn't be trying to interfere."

Reiner simply shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping his lips.

"You really are something else Annie. Really something..." The blond said to himself, gaze lowering to my lips- he looked as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"Excuse me?"

"If you want to beat up someone so badly over a petty thing like that, you just had to ask. There's no one around now, and no one's going to look for you here of all places. So go ahead, let loose." He said, voice mocking as he took a step closer to me- closing the small distance between us even more.

There was amusement in his eyes, but on second look I saw a spark of something darker.

It looked a lot like hunger.

This unnerved me, the implication of what he had said suddenly sinking in. Cautiously; I took a step back. This resulted in his eyes darkening even more.

Annoyed at the wariness that unexpectedly coursed through me, I raised my hand to push him away from me, anger fueling me as well as humiliation. But in no time he had grasped my wrist and shoved me back, causing me to stumble and slip. His arm slipped away from my hand, causing me to fall to the floor.

My back collided with the tiles, and before I knew it Reiner had crawled over me and pinned my arms to the ground, holding me in place.

"What...?" I asked, slightly dazed from the impact my head had made with the ground. But my voice faltered when I saw the look in Reiner's eyes.

They were so dark they were almost black.

"What's wrong Ann?" He asked softly, noting the look of confusion adorning my face.

"You look surprised. Why? I thought you wanted a fight. So fight back. Unless you want something else...that feels even better."

And then Reiner's left hand was gone from my wrist, moving downward to be placed between my legs. I froze, warmth filling my muscles as his hand swept across them- causing them to tense. Shock flowed through me at his boldness.

What the hell was he doing!?

"What the fuck-" I snapped, eyes wide as I quickly lifted the hand he had let go of to shove him away.

But he didn't wait for me to finish, instead using the hand that had been used to pin my other wrist down to now clench around my throat. My airway was instantly cut off, and I choked, grasping at the vice like hold he had on my neck.

"Reiner!" I cried, struggling to breathe as his free hand brushed the hem of my skirt upward. But he ignored me, his hands lifting my skirt completely, cold air instantly washing over my skin.

I hate to say that his large fingers felt good as they slid into my underwear and cupped my sex, causing heat to pool there, but they did. And since the grip he had on my throat prevented me from yelling, all I could do was squirm as he slowly spread his fingers across the surface of my cunt.

And then one of his fingers slowly slid inside of me, brushing against my clit and rubbing; sending a shock through my entire body.

My mouth opened wide then, but I couldn't get any sound to come out other than a strangled gasp. I felt like I was dying from shock, pleasure, and suffocation all at once, and the sudden moans that were desperate to leave my mouth as Reiner leaned down to let his soft tongue run across my neck drove me crazy.

His hair tickled the base of my chin as his teeth grazed the part of my skin where my pulse raced wild, and when he began to slip another finger into me, I went very, very still.

My eyes must have been bugging out of my head in both anger and shock, because one look at my face had Reiner chuckling. The sound reverberated across my skin, sending heat right back down to my sex where his fingers began thrusting in and out, slick wetness beginning to coat them.

"Hmm...I thought you said you hated me earlier." Reiner whispered huskily into my neck, his lips still pressed softly against my skin.

It sent tingles down my spine when he spoke, but I could only bare my teeth as I struggled against his arms. I quickly stopped though once I realized my movements only made his fingers slide deeper inside of me.

Reiner sighed at my weak show of defiance, and jerked his finger across my clit once, and then twice- causing me to choke at the intense wave of pleasure it sent spiraling through me.

"Your body doesn't seem to hate me though. Does it Ann?" Reiner murmured as he removed his lips from my neck and lowered his body down between my legs.

"You're so wet after all... seems like you want more of me." He went on, amusement clearly shining in his gold eyes, the gold slowly fading to black as he roughened the pace at which his fingers slammed inside of me.

And then his face hovered above my sex, his warm tongue working diligently along with his fingers, soft and moist mouth sucking on my most sensitive parts. My body went against the will of my mind, hips bucking desperately when his tongue trailed across the entire length of my slit and then, to my shock, pushed and slid inside.

I trembled uncontrollably at the bliss like feeling that suddenly coursed through me, my legs tightening into a vice grip around his shoulders.

I had never, in my entire life, felt anything like this before.

Now that he had released his hold on my throat, I could breathe again. Only now my fist was clenched between my teeth instead of between his grip. My eyes squeezed shut in deep effort so I wouldn't cry out and alert anyone. I didn't want anyone in the school heading to the room and seeing the situation here.

How could anyone see me like this? Moaning beneath Reiner of all people, the boyfriend of the girl who I clashed with constantly. The boyfriend of the girl who I had beat up in middle school and had been prepared to beat up today- who had caused me to go into counseling so many years ago. It would be more humiliating than anything I had ever endured before.

And what was worse, I couldn't even put my thoughts together properly. I was like jello, completely mindless- only feeling heat and, to my dismay, desperately wanting more of it. I couldn't think or move or even resist- not that I even thought of resisting anymore. And even though my arms were free, that still did not remove me from his iron grip on my hips.

If I tried to shove him off, it would be pointless. Just looking at him pleasuring me sent me over the edge, as the sight of his silky blonde hair between my legs, pale fingers caressing my skin until I was flushing red, turned me on more than I would like to admit. Or would ever admit out loud.

Even in the state I was in, I could see the large bulge in his pants, though he didn't seem in a hurry to relieve himself, which only served to confuse me. He hadn't given me any reason to see him as anything other than a selfish bastard- so why was he so focused on my body instead of his?

Which now brought me to this new stage; that I could not believe this.

I couldn't believe that Reiner had been stronger than me all these years and yet...he had acted as if he were a weakling just to put down my guard. Not that it worked completely, since his stares had not gone past my notice. I had been aware that he was surrounded by a strong crowd of guys for a reason- but I never thought they stuck with him because he was stronger.

I thought it had been because he was well liked. But how foolish could I be? It was very clear to me now, with the way he was rolling his tongue against me so roughly- sending jolts of pleasure up my spine, that he had been holding in this passion for a while. Him refraining from getting aggressive with me simply meant he didn't care to fight. Not my type of fighting at least.

Yet I couldn't understand why he wanted this at all- nor could I believe how good it felt to have his hand around my throat, his tongue inside of me, and his eyes gazing up at me through it all. My teeth dug into my fist even harder as another wave of pleasure slid through me, causing my head to turn to one side as I groaned.

Even though I was dazed, I could still see the intensity and concentration in his eyes even from here as he spread my legs even farther with his hands and leaned down to caress the inside of me with his tongue, the softest sound of a moan leaving both his lips and mine.

It was startling to realize he may have been taking pleasure from my own, but I couldn't help but wish that this feeling would stay with me as long as possible. Even if I hated him- there was no doubt that my body didn't care.

And then, at the same time that thought went through my mind, Reiner softly bit down on my clit, his hands cupping my ass and splayed out over my hips beneath my skirt to keep me from jerking away from him.

The feeling of wetness, heat, and the sudden widening of my eyes- causing me to make contact with his stormy gold ones watching me from below, sent me over the edge.

Then I exploded.

That was the only way to describe it. An explosion.

"Reiner..." I whispered, eyes rolling back into my head as Reiner's fingers dug painfully into the side my hips, the feeling of his teeth grazing my clit causing my toes to curl until my bones ached.

My entire body tensed then, blood now trailing from the teeth marks in my fist as I screamed into it. All I saw now was the glaring light of the lamp on the ceiling, and even then the light seemed to blur as tears filled my eyes and trailed down my face, the heat between my legs fading, a deep ache remaining to replace my earlier pleasure.

I panted, trying to catch my breath after the...whatever that was I had just experienced.

When I finally managed to slow down the uncontrollable beat of my heart, enough to breathe normally again, only then did I notice Reiner lift his head and lick a clear liquid from his lips. His eyes were no longer gold, but black. Black, intense, and staring holes down into me as I looked back at him.

I stared quietly, my mind still numb from before. He had done something to me that no one else had. Had touched me in places no one else had dared. And yet he wasn't on the floor in a bloody mess. In fact, as I stared at him I couldn't help the lone thought that floated into my mind that I actually...wanted to experience that pleasure again. And that terrified, and disgusted me all at the same time.

If any thoughts of beating up Historia had been on my mind before, they were long gone now. Because I was now stuck between wanting to pummel Reiner and wanting to repeat everything over and over in my head- this felt too surreal to actually have happened to me.

"You're rather quiet." The blonde noted after a moment, his eyes calmly taking in my disheveled appearance. No doubt he would save this image in his mind for his own personal purposes later, the pervert.

For some reason this made me flush red instead of glare like I usually would have.

"Well no shit." I said after a moment, my voice softer than it had ever been. "It isn't every day a boy decides to go down on the girl he hates."

Reiner's eyebrows furrowed at my statement, the first sign of emotion other than calm or amused flashing in his eyes.

"What gave you the idea," Reiner began softly, a hint of steel in his voice as his eyes grew darker while he leaned over me, trapping me against the floor again with his body, skin burning to the touch and causing my mind to go blank again...

"That I hated you?" He finished, nose brushing against mine at his last words.

My hands clenched against the tile beneath me, my heart speeding up again against my will. I prayed deep inside me that he couldn't hear it, but the way he was looking at me now suddenly sent a wave of nervousness, and something else almost like expectation, through me. The emotion was confusing, although not exactly unwanted.

"If you're trying to say your actions all these years have been affection, then you have a funny way of showing it." I retorted, summoning the little bit of defiance I had left as I glared at him.

His eyes didn't waver.

"The way I touched you today..." Reiner said, his voice steady. "Is not the way I would touch just any girl. Did that feel like hate, what I did to you just now?" The question was almost biting, so biting in fact that it sent a wave of realization through me.

He couldn't possible be offended by what I said. There was no fucking way.

But the look in his eyes was unmistakable.

"It doesn't matter what that was..." I lied, my voice shaking slightly as I leaned away from him. "You're with Historia aren't you? And I don't even like you. So it's not like this is going to happen again."

That was probably not the right thing to say with Reiner on top of me while steaming with pheromones, my legs on either side of him and my underwear still pulled down. All of that didn't give off the vibe that this wouldn't be repeating.

But it seemed like I had been doing everything foolishly that day, from underestimating Reiner to letting him corner me like this. And things weren't getting any easier.

Reiner seemed to realize this as well, because the grim look on his face expressed an emotion that was very familiar for the both of us.

Determination.

"If it hasn't occurred to you by now, it never will." He replied slowly, his voice almost a growl as he leaned into me. I pulled back, but his hand shot up to my shoulders. His grip was iron as he stilled me.

Anger sprang up as well as pain, but if my earlier attempts to fight back had shown anything; it was that Reiner clearly had the upper hand. I barely had time to move before his mouth was on mine, tongue dipping into my mouth and exploring every crevice as my back was once again pressed against the floor.

A strangled sound left my lips when his hips were suddenly pressed against my own, but that gasp quickly turned into a whine when his hand lifted to my left breast and slid under my shirt. The heat that exploded inside of me when Reiner rubbed his thumb across my nipple was unbearable, and through the fogginess in my head I clearly felt something hard and warm pressing into my cunt. It didn't take a genius to figure out what it was.

And the realization of what Reiner wanted to do here and now made my mind go completely blank. It was clear. The only thing separating us was the cloth that made up Reiner's pants, and something told me he wasn't going to let that barrier stay up for much longer.

This thought sent a tingle of fear through me, but even stronger than that was the feeling of pleasure as Reiner slowly began to grind his length into my sex, one hand on my breast and the other trailing down my side to grip my thigh.

When Reiner finally removed his tongue from my mouth, I inhaled a lungful of air as quickly as possible, the sweat trailing down my face evident of what state my body was in.

It was much hotter in the room now, and the look in Reiner's eyes didn't help matters.

"I always get what I want Ann." Reiner murmured, sounding almost breathless as he took in my appearance in from above. His hair was no longer neat, but wild and framing his face- causing his roman nose and moist lips to look almost sinful as I gazed up at him, my eyes hazy.

I watched in silence as his pants and boxers fell to the floor, pooling at his feet. My mouth grew very, very dry at the sight of the large, throbbing monster he was planning to put inside of me.

When he saw the look in my eyes, Reiner leaned even closer, his lips brushing against mine, hot air blowing across my lips as the tip of his erection pressed against my thigh.

"You're no exception to that." He whispered.

In that moment; I believed him.

.❀.

I don't know how he did it, but the teachers didn't ask too many questions when I returned to class with a slight limp.

And to my surprise, I didn't get called to the office.

The darkness in Historia's gaze when we crossed paths after school alarmed me. There was a sense of knowing in her expression when she had passed me today, and the notion that she could be aware what Reiner had done with me earlier was disconcerting. But instead of dwelling on the fact that we had unfinished business I searched for Mikasa in hopes that I could drive her home. I hadn't seen her since our talk in the hallway.

There weren't too many stares this time around as I headed out of the school and searched through the crowd of students leaving. But as flipped out my phone and began heading down the sidewalk, I felt a strong grip take ahold of my arm- freezing me in place.

I stared up at Reiner, my eyebrows furrowed.

"What are you doing?" I hissed. "We're in publi-"

But he didn't let me finish, the grip on my arm tightening to the point of pain, which quickly resulted in me biting my tongue and shutting up. I was starting to get annoyed with this strength of his, and eventually I needed to find a way to evade it- or else I'd go crazy with rage.

"We," Reiner began, gold eyes cool as he assessed the annoyance on my face, hand loosening from my arm. "Are going for a drive."

I had a feeling that a 'drive' did not constitute as just a ride around the block in his Ferrari.

But it wasn't like I could escape at this point.

"I need to go to work..." I protested weakly, turning to glance behind me in hopes that no one was watching us. The teeth marks I had left into my hand were still there, the redness contrasting with the rest of my skin. Reiner's fingers brushed against the marks, the coolness of his hand making the pain fade.

"Then we'll go for a drive afterward. In the mean time I'll give you a ride there."

"I have to be home by eleven." I added, removing my arm smartly from his grip and taking a step back.

"I'll work that out too." Reiner was in my space again in no time, his gaze showing clearly that he wasn't about to give me time to formulate a plan to avoid the hell out of him.

"You're not going to let me go are you." I already knew the answer to that before it even left my lips. And by the amused look Reiner sent me, he was perfectly aware of that.

"You're smart enough to figure it out Ann."

Oh fucking hell.

.❀.

"You look as tired as I feel." Mikasa murmured sleepily when I collapsed into the chair beside her the next morning, hand trailing through my hair.

We were at the library once more, in the same spot we always met up. Taffy had already been splayed across the table, and Mikasa closed the book she had been reading the second I was within earshot. My eyes glanced over the cover, seeing the word 'Eclipse' before she brushed the novel away into her bag.

Mikasa gazed at me, the question in her eyes unmistakable as I sat down with a sigh. I was late and I knew it, but I couldn't bring myself to explain anything.

My body and mind were too exhausted from before.

"I doubt you've gone through what I have in the past day." I muttered, laying my head on the desk as my arms wrapped around myself- as if enclosing me in a wall.

Mikasa paused at the defeat in my voice, her dark eyes suddenly alert as she studied my disheveled appearance.

"What's wrong Ann?" She asked, leaning up in her chair. The concern in her eyes was clear as day, and I couldn't help but smile tiredly at her.

She was really beautiful, even in distress.

"Nothing Mikasa." I said, lifting my hand to wave away her concerns. "I just worked late at the Cafe yesterday. Came home late, and Bertolt wasn't there to let me in..."

This was only partly true. The real reason of my exhaustion had to do with Reiner continuously and relentlessly fucking the daylights out of me until both of us couldn't breathe. Most of which happened in his car, the rest of which happened in his bedroom, which he had brought me to after my shift was over.

When he had finally finished and tired himself out, the expression in his eyes were somewhat pained, his hard chest rising and falling as he held me against him. He was still recovering from his ecstasy.

"You're so beautiful." He had muttered, golden eyes staring directly into mine as I tried to catch my breath, eyes dazed as I watched the sweat trailing down both of our bodies.

This caused my eyebrows to furrow at the sincerity I saw in his face and in his voice.

He was clearly not joking with me.

What was with people these days? First Mikasa, now Reiner? Did I eat some magical pheromone inducer that suddenly made them think I was worth their time?

I didn't have time to respond to this unexpected compliment though before he was suddenly on top of me again.

And then he kissed me, starting yet another round of gasps and pleas and moans. The fact that his house was empty of any relatives with the occasional maid walking by only served to make us both indiscreet with our noise.

But of course I couldn't tell Mikasa this. Because she wouldn't understand. And even if she did, I wanted to keep this to myself. We had only just met, and I doubt that she hadn't heard about Reiner's reputation by now. She didn't know that his girlfriend currently had me at the top of her hit list too- which now would only worsen my situation since I was currently fucking her boyfriend.

Mikasa wasn't caught up in this mess. Therefor she didn't have to be involved in my drama- she simply had the role of being my friend and sharing her candy as well as giggling about inside jokes about Carmen.

And truth be told, I'd rather keep it that way.

Mikasa studied me for a moment as I mulled to myself, her pale fingers tapping against the table- the only sign that she was irritated with my silence.

"That reminds me," She said after a moment, her gaze turning to the ceiling where several posters hung like beacons in the darkly colored room. "I've never met your family."

A beat of silence passed, before I slowly turned to look at her, my eyebrows furrowed.

"I haven't met yours either." I reminded her. "We've never even been to each others house."

Mikasa rolled her eyes at me, her sinfully long lashes casting shadows over her face.

"That should obviously change. We can't always come to the Library when we want to see each other, or share glances in class."

"Well then, tell me a time and an address, I'll give you mine too, and we'll call it a date." I said with a shrug, secretly relieved that she hadn't pried. If coming to my house would prevent her from finding out about Reiner, I would endure it.

I didn't want her meeting my mother, but she was always knock out drunk anyway. And even if she wasn't, I'd get Mikasa out of the house before mom even realized she was there.

"A date." Mikasa agreed quietly, her gaze still on me as I leaned back and stretched, the tired lines under my eyes what her eyes lingered on the longest.


End file.
